dataBURST: IC Inbox

[breakaleginhalf]

Hey, it's Gil. Either I haven't got my phone on me, OR I'm actively ignoring you. Text me if it's important, try harder if you're dying. TEXT | VOICE | VIDEO | ACTION

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[push_that_pesticide]

[ Bugsy too adjusted himself, letting the arms around Gil's neck shift to rest his hands on the back of Gil's mane. His touches were light, and Gil wouldn't have felt any direct hunger or desire crop up. He just knew how it had affected Gil, and he liked the feel of the under his fingers. ]

Wasn't your fault, [ Bugsy rumbled, low and quiet, ] just get weird sometimes. 'Bout what I'm allowed to like, or be into. Sorry.

[breakaleginhalf]

[Gil's shoulders bunch, just a fraction, when Bugsy's hands bury back in his mane, but he melts almost immediately when the bug starts stroking through his mane, and his ears relax gently back to their base position.]

Shouldn't tease you 'bout that shit, though. [His voice is a quiet rumble against Bugsy's sternum.] I know I'm real fuckin' lucky with being able to be so open and out.

[push_that_pesticide]

's not like I'm not open and out now, myself. Just... y'know. Shit.

[ More small strokes, letting his eyes close as he felt himself relax. Even if just a little bitterness remained. ]

Can be out 'n still think you're sick. Or weak. Gross. Just- I dunno. I like getting yanked around by you, just feel like I shouldn't.

[breakaleginhalf]

Mm. [His response is more of a quiet rumble than words, as he pulls Bugsy in a little tighter with the pleasantness of that stroking.

It's patting, really. He's being pat to sleep, and right now he's more or less okay with that. It's not like he got a lot of it between rushing out before and now, and Bugsy relaxing too made it all the more indulgent, even with that sharp hint of bitterness beneath it.]

'f you want me to I can stop, but. Kinda like doin' it. 's'fun feeling you like it.

[push_that_pesticide]

Naw, don't want you to stop it. Just figure- if you're gonna be feeling it anyway, I don't want you thinking 's cus I'm not into it.

[ Sleep honestly sounded like a good idea, and feeling Gil really start to settle in just pushed Bugsy further, that bitter feeling fading as if diluted, drip by pleasant drip. ]

Whas'it like? Feeling me like that?

[breakaleginhalf]

[There's a long, thoughtful rumble out of Gil as he tries to consider the question. It may or may not simply fade into enjoying the pats and rumbling quietly at those instead.]

Lots 'f things. Y'always get scared, first. Makes my stomach sink. When you realise I'm not hurting you, 's'like... [A yawn breaks out of him, stretching his mouth discomfitingly wide, and something in his jaw pops quietly before he shuts again.] Excited. Adrenaline. Curious.

[He's quiet, save for another content rumble that turns, after a few seconds, into more words.] 's'weird feeling your emotions. You and Coda. No warning. Intense.

[push_that_pesticide]

Sorry 'bout that.

[ Bugsy shifted one hand up to gently stroke at one of Gil's ears, this time. ]

Guess it's 'cus we keep our cards close. Both of us. 's just a Winter thing- we feel as much as anyone else. We just hide our love and hate.

[ Something like pride, there. Being part of something bigger. Community. Belonging. ]

[breakaleginhalf]

[The ear baps Bugsy's hand when it twitches at the unexpected touch, but Gil also tilt his head into his hand, just a little.]

Yeah. Nice feeling it, though. 's'warm. Safe.

[push_that_pesticide]

[ There was, of course, a difference between knowing intellectually that Gil could feel his emotions, and comprehending it. And the explicit mention that he felt how safe and warm Gil made him... It spurred something like dread. The idea that Gil was feeling his esteem and affection- beyond just the animal hunger and lust, actually feeling how attached he'd gotten already-

But... if Gil had felt it and not turned away or rejected him...

Too much to process, he tried to shut off that line of thinking and return to massaging Gil's ear, feeling the velvet of it. Still nerves and bile and warmth and fear underneath it all, slowly wicked away by the movement. ]

[breakaleginhalf]

[Gil's ears flick gently again, his muzzle twitches just a little - and if Bugsy's paying attention this time, he'll notice how the reaction is perfectly timed to the swell of his loathing and internal conflict. Like he just farted in Gil's face.

But the ear rubs wash away the sudden tension immediately, and he just snuggles his face into Bugsy's chest one last time, before his breathing turns into long, slow breaths as he falls properly, deeply asleep.]