breakaleginhalf | dataBURST: IC Inbox

Speaking of passing for Summer...I still really wonder how there's any universe where a version of me ended up there.

[This isn't really a subject change. Coda's aware that Summer's purview is their biggest area of emotional constipation.]

[Gil makes an 'oof' face as he turns his gaze away.]

Maybe they decided using their mixed feelings as fuel for the fire was a better use of their energy. Make it everyone else's problem.

Infinite... something on infinite typewriters... [ Artemis shrugs his free shoulder. He's certainly still coping with the fact that there's a version of himself out there that ended up as a moonshine-selling hobo. The man's got a beard. ] Would that even be you anymore?

That's a really fun question, isn't it? What makes any of us, us? At what point is someone not-me?

[Coda sighs dramatically.]

There's a human version of me here, too. Using my birth name, ignorant of how her life could have turned out instead. Speaking of, Gil, I now know the name you were born to.

[Well that makes one ear twitch forward, and he looks at Coda in surprise.]

...did I not tell you that? Gil Ryanson's my real name, I've never used another one.

Bold of you to be open about that fact. Bold choice overall. It's dangerous, letting people know that.

...though I suppose potentially anyone might know my birth name, at this point.

[They seem to tense a little at the idea.]

[And he snorts loudly.]

I'm not threatened by Artemis knowing my name is my True Name. No offence, mate.

[And he gives Artemis a winning smile. Without the Mask it's more full of fangs than ever.]

Not sure what you think I'd even do with it.

[ He's vaguely aware of older stories about telling fairies your name, but he couldn't be any more human. He scratches the back of his neck, though, and gives Coda a slightly shifty look.

At least they'd made the choice for him as far as talking about her went. ]

I met her. So. You can count me as one of the people that knows, I guess. Sorry.

What did you think of her?

[It's a question they shouldn't be asking. They shouldn't care. Theresa Wu has no relevance to their life.

But...]

[ Artemis is choosing his words carefully, even if he's working hard not to let it show in his face. ]

She was... nice, I guess? Older? Not really someone I'd notice, if I passed her in the street.

She's far too normal for you.

[There's a mix of wistfulness and something smug here.]

It's...good to know she's alright. That there's a world in which I could have been alright. I mean. Not that this one's the worst possible one, perhaps.

Your Summer version's a bit too comfortable with instigating violence, I think. And, uh. [His voice softens a little, automatically.] Using your blessing on people.

[ The smugness there makes Artemis relax a little in relief; that's far from the worst reaction they could've had, considering the circumstances.

The unfamiliar terminology distracts him, though, and he can't help blurting out: ] Blessing?

Oh fuck. I'm sorry.

[Could either of them have imagined Coda going paler, blanching until they're literally paper white? Well, they do.]

He...he means my kith blessing. The same way he eats like a garbage disposal, or Bugsy...eats like a garbage disposal, I've got...it's not really a blessing to me. I hate it. I'm sorry.

[And Gil's immediately pulling them in for a tighter cuddle.]

Shit-- Coda, it's okay, they didn't use it on me, I swear. I'm fine. It's okay.

[He looks back at Artemis briefly.]

Every Kith has a special fancy magic trick only they do. Mine is actually my teeth, I can bite through anything, Coda's is... uh. Bad.

[ Well. So much for any feeling of relief. Artemis shifts a little closer now, at a genuinely loss as to how to help with something that's well outside of what he understands, except - ]

And there's some shittier version that wants to do it on everyone. [ His hand tightens on Coda's again. ] Is there anything we can do about this? Any of it?

If...if they're the sort who wants to use it on everyone, then they ought to be stopped. I shouldn't...no one should use that. I hate everything I was made. Everything I was created to be, and if there's one of me who embraces that, they must be...fucking...awful.

[Coda's curling in on themself hard, shuddering--with anger, with self-loathing, with fear.]

[And now Gil feels utterly horrible.]

Coda-- don't put words in my mouth, alright? I phrased that badly but I didn't say everyone, I only saw them use it on a fucking-- aggressive Hedge monster, thing, they were getting it to slow down so they could finish it off. It was-- horrible, but it was practical, it wouldn't have stopped otherwise.

[Which doesn't feel much better, on the grand scale, but maybe there's enough semantics to help ease Coda's frankly massive anxieties.]

[ Artemis shoots Gil and apologetic (and more than a little panicked) look over Coda's head, trying to find some guidance there. ]

So they weren't hurting anyone with it. [ Whatever it is. ] But even if they were awful, Coda, so what? They're not you.

[There's a bit of a pause, as Coda glances at Gil as well.]

Ah, so that's twice that I've killed you, then.

[It's hollow, devoid of the humor that sentence might have somewhere down the line, after time's made it less immediate and painful.]

I know they're not me. They're...I don't...how can any version of me lean into our kith?

[Sorry, Artemis, Gil's no help right now. His ears are pressed mostly against his head and the look he shoots back when he spots Artemis peering at him is largely guilty.]

They... made a choice. To take whatever powers they have and make the most of them. You do that too, but you're not aggressive about it. You're smart, sly. You're Winter for a reason. And also you have a much better moral compass, evidently.

[ Twice now. Something clicks for Artemis - he could be wrong, but considering the reactions here he doesn't think so. He lets out a soft 'ah' and then his lips press into a thin line in an effort to keep back a million questions about why and how and was their Gil likely to do that? It's a cold, familiar sort of worry that he's doing his best to let go of right now.

Deep breaths. Steady voice. ]

You're just the better clone, darling, that's all.

[Of course, that sentence from Artemis is tucked away. Because it sounds so interesting, hearing it from $1ofakind. But now's not the time for that.]

Better, not sure. I did make a choice. You should know--I didn't...when I arrived, I didn't have my kith blessing. I do now. I went to the Candy Shop. Spent Booleans, to get it back. So I'm, uh, armed and dangerous, again. Like they are, like they're actively being.

[Gil's ears twitch slightly, and he very deliberately doesn't look at Artemis.]

That doesn't make you a monster, it makes you prepared. We all trust you enough to not use it on us whenever it suits you, it's an extenuating circumstances thing. You're allowed to have your secret weapon on hand.

[ Artemis sees Gil not-looking at him, and he tucks that away. He doesn't want to have a conversation about it, even a little bit, but he'll be keeping a slightly closer eye. Because - that would be a shitty thing to deal with, is all.

Resolution made, he's back to the current problem. ]

Not-so-secret weapon, since you just told us. [ Kind of. Not that Artemis has any idea what it is. ] Which means you're probably not planning to use it on the people in this room, so I don't care.

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