breakaleginhalf | dataBURST: IC Inbox

[It's much, much easier to handle the sudden loss of emotional information when it was positive. Jarring still, but at least the loss of contentment and happiness was more familiar, easier to get used to than the sudden intensity of sadness and loathing and spiralling infecting him and being ripped away before he can even attempt to process it.

Bugsy just gets another warm smile.]

Course. Yours is gonna be way easier than all this.

[He glances back at the small mountain of hair in the bath, but to his knowledge he was the only person who used this one anyway, and only for shaving.He looks up at Bugsy and grins.] So, your nest or mine?

You want dog cuddles? 'cus I legally can't kick Ms Mojo out from my bed, it's a felony. I'm cool with either, just know it might be weird with her in there with us.

[ Not everyone wanted a dog finding all their pressure points while they were trying to have nice ~~romantic~~ intimate cuddles, he was chill with that. ]

I mean, it's tempting, I do like Ms Mojo. And I think she's tried taking over my bed a few times now anyway. So I'd like to have them with just you, before she claims another kingdom in the name of the court.

[Whoops he's already slipped out of the bathroom before Bugsy can make more fun of him.]

In the name of the court? Shit, Gil, if you've given her the freehold oath you have to tell me-

[ Bugsy trotted for a step or two, just to catch up and slip his arm around Gil's waist as he walked. ]

You know she's a free agent anyway. Her kingdom is anywhere she damn well pleases.

[Before Gil can make a smart reply there's a hand around his waist, and the unexpected touch in a ticklish location makes him start away from it automatically - straight into Bugsy. Not hard enough to knock him over, by any means, but he's sure pressed against the guy now, and what's left of his mane fluffs in automatic alarm.]

-- 'course it is. If she's anything like you why would she rule over just one place?

[~~Gil is the absolute smoothest and if he tells himself that enough maybe he'll fucking act like it one day.~~]

[ Bugsy let go when he felt Gil startle, only to end up with the Ogre pressed into him- some Puckish delight mingled with how solid Gil felt against him, how easy it would be to just slip his hand around his waist again-

Bugsy shoved back lightly, still trying to spare his dignity, despite Gil's best efforts. ]

Yeah, well, you know us. Pair of vagabonds, going where the wind takes us.

[No fuck you-- a wave of stupendously petty spite makes Gil grab Bugsy's wrist, tight but not painful, and start dragging him towards whatever bed display is nearest (as long as it's not Coda's). He's a grown fucking - fucking - adult and he's not about to feel like a dumb goddamn teenager because he's getting embarrassed about cuddling his friend with benefits. Fuck that.

There's a double bed, awesome, he's gonna grab Bugsy around the waist with both arms and drag him into Gay Hell with him and flop them both onto the bed.]

[ A moment of legitimate animal panic as Bugsy felt Gil grab his wrist, only to be replaced with a frankly embarrassing amount of horny as he realised that Gil was literally dragging him off to a bed. He wasn't going to admit it aloud, but he was more than a little into this, and he cuddled in against Gil as they flopped onto the bed, resting his arms around Gil's neck, trying to suppress that feeling of hunger that he felt rising up. ]

Fuck- gimme some warning next time-

[ He whined, as if Gil couldn't feel how mostly okay he was with it. ]

[Stop being a fucking horndog, Bugsy, for god's sake. He's already staved off one erection tonight and you're not making it easy.

Instead he shifts his head up and plants his nose against Bugsy's neck to give a wet snuff. Maybe that'll kill his hunger a little.]

Don't act like you weren't into that, Bugs, I was holding your fucking hand.

[It's amused though, not admonishing, and with Bugsy's arms already around his neck it's very easy to press his forehead into Bugsy's chest and cuddle in like he does legitimately want to, squeezing an arm under Bugsy to wrap both around his waist.]

[ Self-hate bitter like heartburn bubbled up, disrupting the calm, that Bugsy struggled to breathe through, cutting sharp through his horniness. ]

Yeah fuck you, [ he grumbled, not trying to pull away, the feeling seeming to simmer down in real time as Bugsy settled in against his friend. ]

Lucky you feel so good.

[The flash of self loathing makes Gil's ears flick in surprise, and guilt curls in his own stomach that doesn't quite go away even when Bugsy's own negative feelings simmer down a bit.

This whole... thing was such a confusing mess.

Gil doesn't say anything this time, but his ears stay pressed back a bit as he just. Pulls Bugsy in a little tighter, tilting his head so he can actually breathe as he shifts Bugsy close enough to be mostly pressed against him.]

[ Bugsy too adjusted himself, letting the arms around Gil's neck shift to rest his hands on the back of Gil's mane. His touches were light, and Gil wouldn't have felt any direct hunger or desire crop up. He just knew how it had affected Gil, and he liked the feel of the under his fingers. ]

Wasn't your fault, [ Bugsy rumbled, low and quiet, ] just get weird sometimes. 'Bout what I'm allowed to like, or be into. Sorry.

[Gil's shoulders bunch, just a fraction, when Bugsy's hands bury back in his mane, but he melts almost immediately when the bug starts stroking through his mane, and his ears relax gently back to their base position.]

Shouldn't tease you 'bout that shit, though. [His voice is a quiet rumble against Bugsy's sternum.] I know I'm real fuckin' lucky with being able to be so open and out.

's not like I'm not open and out now, myself. Just... y'know. Shit.

[ More small strokes, letting his eyes close as he felt himself relax. Even if just a little bitterness remained. ]

Can be out 'n still think you're sick. Or weak. Gross. Just- I dunno. I like getting yanked around by you, just feel like I shouldn't.

Mm. [His response is more of a quiet rumble than words, as he pulls Bugsy in a little tighter with the pleasantness of that stroking.

It's patting, really. He's being pat to sleep, and right now he's more or less okay with that. It's not like he got a lot of it between rushing out before and now, and Bugsy relaxing too made it all the more indulgent, even with that sharp hint of bitterness beneath it.]

'f you want me to I can stop, but. Kinda like doin' it. 's'fun feeling you like it.

Naw, don't want you to stop it. Just figure- if you're gonna be feeling it anyway, I don't want you thinking 's cus I'm not into it.

[ Sleep honestly sounded like a good idea, and feeling Gil really start to settle in just pushed Bugsy further, that bitter feeling fading as if diluted, drip by pleasant drip. ]

Whas'it like? Feeling me like that?

[There's a long, thoughtful rumble out of Gil as he tries to consider the question. It may or may not simply fade into enjoying the pats and rumbling quietly at those instead.]

Lots 'f things. Y'always get scared, first. Makes my stomach sink. When you realise I'm not hurting you, 's'like... [A yawn breaks out of him, stretching his mouth discomfitingly wide, and something in his jaw pops quietly before he shuts again.] Excited. Adrenaline. Curious.

[He's quiet, save for another content rumble that turns, after a few seconds, into more words.] 's'weird feeling your emotions. You and Coda. No warning. Intense.

Sorry 'bout that.

[ Bugsy shifted one hand up to gently stroke at one of Gil's ears, this time. ]

Guess it's 'cus we keep our cards close. Both of us. 's just a Winter thing- we feel as much as anyone else. We just hide our love and hate.

[ Something like pride, there. Being part of something bigger. Community. Belonging. ]

[The ear baps Bugsy's hand when it twitches at the unexpected touch, but Gil also tilt his head into his hand, just a little.]

Yeah. Nice feeling it, though. 's'warm. Safe.

[ There was, of course, a difference between knowing intellectually that Gil could feel his emotions, and comprehending it. And the explicit mention that he felt how safe and warm Gil made him... It spurred something like dread. The idea that Gil was feeling his esteem and affection- beyond just the animal hunger and lust, actually feeling how attached he'd gotten already-

But... if Gil had felt it and not turned away or rejected him...

Too much to process, he tried to shut off that line of thinking and return to massaging Gil's ear, feeling the velvet of it. Still nerves and bile and warmth and fear underneath it all, slowly wicked away by the movement. ]

[Gil's ears flick gently again, his muzzle twitches just a little - and if Bugsy's paying attention this time, he'll notice how the reaction is perfectly timed to the swell of his loathing and internal conflict. Like he just farted in Gil's face.

But the ear rubs wash away the sudden tension immediately, and he just snuggles his face into Bugsy's chest one last time, before his breathing turns into long, slow breaths as he falls properly, deeply asleep.]

Edited 2021-05-20 22:22 (UTC)

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