dataBURST: IC Inbox

[breakaleginhalf]

Hey, it's Gil. Either I haven't got my phone on me, OR I'm actively ignoring you. Text me if it's important, try harder if you're dying. TEXT | VOICE | VIDEO | ACTION

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[senseloss]

[The call connects, but all Gil hears is static, at first. Which makes sense, they're electric boogy-woogy-woogy.]

[breakaleginhalf]

[It's a promising start, at least.]

Coda, where are you? [His tone isn't angry or judging at all - quite the opposite. He's so concerned for his friend, he doubts they're as at fault as they seem to think they are but he needs to find them first.] I'm not mad, I swear, I just-- what happened...?

CW: discussion of suicide may follow from here.

[senseloss]

We were talking and...he figured out that he's a duplicate and...

[Their voice is thick and heavy. It's clear they've either been crying, or they're on the very cusp of it.]

[breakaleginhalf]

Oh god, Coda... Fuck, I'm so sorry.

[What can he even say to that.]

Look, just-- come back to Qubit House, please. I'll meet you outside your room, we can just... let's not do this over the phone.

[He's not letting Coda get out of this without a hug.]

[senseloss]

I...don't think I'm coming home. I don't want my new roommate to see...

And really, I'm not looking for...for pity. I just wanted you to know. In case you're keeping tabs on him.

[breakaleginhalf]

My room, then, I'm sure Artie won't mind.

...this isn't pity, Coda, you just watched someone kill himself. This is empathy in case you want a goddamn hug or something after that. That's fucking intense.

[It's easier for him to just pretend it's some random stranger, than deal with the notion it was him committing suicide.]

[senseloss]

[There's a moment of quiet--again, only static in the air.]

Can you come get me?

[breakaleginhalf]

Yes, god. [A little too fast on the answer there but he's so concerned.] Where are you?

[senseloss]

Cafe a little north of the Proxy Hotel. It's closed for the night. I'm under one of the tables in the outdoor seating area.

[Hiding.]

[breakaleginhalf]

[It takes Gil about ten minutes to get there, and that's running at a full tilt before he catches Coda's unique, almost static-like copper odour to guide him the rest of the way.

When he spots his slight friend, he finally slows to a halt, and comes up to the table as well, not sitting down but putting his hand on the chair ready to.]

Hey, Coda.

[senseloss]

Hi.

[They're still sitting on the ground beneath the table, knees pulled up to their chest like a tiny Coda-ball. Their gaze lingers at his feet.]

[breakaleginhalf]

[...yeah.

Gil lifts the chair with one hand and moves it aside, so he can sit on the floor next to Coda, one leg tucked under the other.]

...you want a hug?

[senseloss]

Yes. But I don't think I deserve it. I fucked up, Gil. I should have found a way to stop him. I shouldn't have let him figure it out.

[breakaleginhalf]

[Gil's compromise is putting a hand on Coda's shoulder.]

That's not true. I'm so, so sorry that that happened to you, but. It's not your fault. You can't blame yourself for a decision he made.

[senseloss]

[And Coda leans in as if his hand is magnetic.]

I did fucked up, though.

[breakaleginhalf]

Do you wanna talk about it? [He scootches in closer, so he can sit beside them and wrap his whole arm around their shoulders. The night may be a bit chilly but he's disgustingly warm and only wearing a hooded singlet.] Or do you just want me to carry you back?

[senseloss]

I don't even know what to say. Um. Carry me?

[It's really not hard to lift them. They're less than 100lbs; their customary messenger bag is almost another ten by itself.]

[breakaleginhalf]

Okay, here we go.

[Gil can do a hundred pounds without breaking a sweat. He's delicate in picking them up, almost like he's afraid to break them - his hand glosses over their port but he ignores it, scooping them up princess style so he can stand up straight and shift them to just one arm, balanced easily against their chest and at the perfect height to drape themself over his shoulder. He scoops the strap of the messenger bag with his foot so he can pick it up and sling it over his free shoulder, but hey: now he's carrying Coda.]

You don't have to, if you're freaking out. Because you seem like you're still freaking out a lot.

[senseloss]

I think I'm going to be freaking out for a while. I...I can't even, Gil.

[But the warm embrace of a kind Ogre is helping just a little. They snug in comfortably, and they close their eyes, and almost seem to turn off the display unit, letting him take them wherever he wants.]

This is Gil's softest icon

[breakaleginhalf]

Yeah, I'm not surprised. Take as long as you need.

[And when they tuck in against him, he rests his chin on their head to give them that little bit more. His pace is a slow, even rhythm, and the swishing of his Mantle almost sounds like gentle washes of rain on the concrete.

He's certainly not going to keep trying to talk to them. But when his arm starts getting a little sore, about three or four blocks in, he gently adjusts them so he's carrying them pressed to his chest, and tucks his muzzle into the crook of their neck - partially so he can still see, mostly to keep maintaining that maximum touch.

At this pace it'll be quite a while to get back. But he's not fussed.]

[senseloss]

[They're not asleep. They're still aware of every step and every sound. They just don't have the spare processing power to pretend to be a person at the same time.

And don't tell anyone, but they needed to be held, long before any of this happened.]

[breakaleginhalf]

[It takes the better part of an hour, to finally make it back to Qubit House. Gil's a horrifically fast runner and the way back is a long one, but at least it means Coda gets to have their contact the entire time. Maybe they'll feel more alive and themselves afterwards.

And true to his word, he does indeed take them to his and Artemis's room. He hadn't been home earlier so he genuinely doesn't know if his room-mate is either, but he still knocks before he unlocks the door and carries Coda the Koala into their room.]

[placeheld]

[ Artemis stands from his bed at the knock and pads over toward the door, prepared to open it before the handle starts moving. Gil, then, but why would he be knocking -? Artemis meets his eyes, confused, and then his gaze drops - ]

What happened?

[ He keeps the question to a quiet, fierce whisper. ]

[senseloss]

[Even quiet as it is, Coda flinches. They lift their head, seeing Artemis, and tense.]

Sorry.

[The apology is automatic, reflexive, what they do when they don't know what else to say.]

CW: further suicide discussion hereon

[breakaleginhalf]

[Gil's ears flick back a little, but the angle it puts them on makes it hard to tell if it's admonishment or irritation. His hoof hitting the door is a little firm, though, as he goes to sit on the couch with Coda in his lap. ]

Someone killed themselves. Coda's taking it... a little personally.